Ole & Lena Jokes

One night, a torrential rain soaked northwestern Minnesota. The next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there.

Mrs. Johnson was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Lena, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Johnson noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house.

Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back to the house; it kept floating away from the house, then back towards the house.

Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Lena, "Do you see dat der baseball cap a floatin' away from da house, den back again?"

Lena said, "Oh yeah, dats my husband Ole; I tole dat lazy-such and such he vasgonna cut da grass today, come hell or high water!!!!

-Submitted by Wild Willy

Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena Said, "Ole, you can go farther if ya vant to"... so Ole drove to Duluth.
-Author Unknown
Lena passed away and Ole called 911. The 911 operator told Ole that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Ole replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
"Can you spell that for me?" the operator asked.
There was a long pause and finally Ole said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up der?"
-Author Unknown
Ole and Lena was at the kitchen table for the usual morning cup of coffee and listening to a weather report coming from the radio.
"There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. All vehicles should be parked on the odd-numbered side of the streets today to facilitate snowplows," the radio voice declared.
"Oh, gosh, OK," said Ole, getting up, bundling up and heading outside to dutifully put his car on the odd-numbered side of the street.
Two days later, Ole and Lena were at morning coffee when the radio voice said:
"There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your vehicles on the even-numbered side of the streets."
Ole got up from his coffee as before. He bundled up, shuffled off, and put his car on the even-numbered side of the street.
A few days later, the couple was at the table when the radio voice declared:
"There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the ..." Just then, the power went out.
"Park it where?" Ole asked in the dark, "What should I do?"
"Aw, to heck with them, Ole," Lena said, "Don't worry about it today. Just leave the car in the garage."
-Author Unknown
When Ole and Lena were young and in love they would got to there favorite spot to park. One night while parked hugging and kissing Ole asks Lena, "Lena how would you like to go in the back?"
"No," she replies. So they hug and kiss some more. Again, Ole asks Lena to go in the back. Lena replies, "Ole, why are you always asking me to go in the back, I want to stay in front with you!"

-Author Unknown
-Submitted by Robin Bishop